Minivan, you say? Six Feet Under, you say?

As any smart cookie will have gleaned from the title up there, we drive a minivan.
That is, we drive what childless, freshly married me though was a minivan. Do not misunderstand this, I love our Mazda5. For one, the windows in the back make me feel like I'm sitting in our private jet.

[Not that we actually have one. Not that I have ever sat in someone else's.

Really, I'm running on fumes here.]

Our miniminivan [has its own ring but didn't look so good as a title] has six seats. This here view is what you see when you sit in the last row and drive past the San Luis Reservoir in California. Hashtag thisiscalifornia. In the summer.

Beautiful view, yes? Just, when you're sitting back there, the trunk is about nonexistent. And the Cheerios on the floor and the pack of diapers [mostly clean, except for what had to be changed at 65 miles an hour to intercept the impending breakdown of child (and ensuing parental)] and classic family whatisallthis-luggage leave not much space for things to do. Other than looking out the private plane window.

When I picked our family car we sold my third-hand, 12-year-old GS300. And then, appearing on the horizon, trailing a majestic dust cloud, smelling of closed-course, professional-driver DONOTTRYTHISATHOME, we welcomed our minivan. Our. first. minivan.

Which seemed so big. So . . . family. And now it's so . . . small. Perhaps it's because we raised the floor with two inches of dropped cereal/toys/Crayons much like they do at Logan's Roadhouse with peanut shells. Perhaps it's because I did not anticipate time flying like the abovementioned private jet we don't have when you have kids. Oh, perhaps it is because family visits all the time [*insertwavinghandandsmilingface*] and we roadtrip and don't have a coffin for the roof.

 

Coffin! A hearse! That would afford a lot more room. Although I believe they only have two seats. But a lot more room. Remember Claire Fisher? Six Feet Under? From those glorious days when I still had all the time in the world to watch TV? Shows? Binge? West Wing. Desperate Housewives. Grey's Anatomy.

Is this my plight exclusively? Anyone else out there who severely cut their TV time after having kids? What are you missing most? Leave me a comment. Let me know. Let's cry together.

Now excuse me, I smell two full diapers. One milk-poop, one solid food-poop. You had to ask!